Ten tensions 5: caring and detached

5. Showing great care for the client while remain detached

Our relationship to the client’s story needs to be reflected in what we feel about them. We need to care and not care. We need to stay connected while staying resourceful. We will often be touched by a client’s issue or experience. It may sadden, anger or frustrate us on their behalf. To show our empathy and compassion is both an authentic human response and one that strengthens our relationship with our client. But they need to see we are ok with their challenge:  that we remain confident, hopeful and strong. So we acknowledge the level of challenge, resist any urge to resolve it too quickly, and show what we accept it as it is. We can then start to help them explore what to do about it.